The President's Physical PhytnessTest (or indoctrination into Socialist Dystopia)

President's Physical Phytness Test!

I wonder how many parents will demand that their child be excused from this politicized physical fitness activity. Do they still make the kids take the President's Physical Fitness Test? That seems like indoctrination into a Socialist ideal to me -- this could be how he trains his new Red Army of Socialist Youth.

All I remember about this was that it was another way to humiliate those of us who were uncoordinated, asthmatic and all-around unathletic. It was inhumane and it was always a foregone conclusion that the Aryan youth of my elementary school would get the little certificate signed by that lovable dope Reagan while the rest of us sweat our asses off squeezing out the minimum amount of situps while our troglodyte gym teacher counted with scorn.

Our children should not have to take part in this politicized physical battery! Are we educating our children or training them for the New World Order? God bless America!

This Nation Needs an Enema

"Ask not what your country can do for you, [THE REST OF THIS QUOTE IS OPTIONAL WITH WRITTEN PARENTAL CONSENT]"

This nation needs a serious enema. I'm talking a total intellectual high colonic. We've reached a serious WTF?! moment when a sitting president of the U.S. can't even plan a "stay in school" message to schoolkids without the ignorant masses getting into a tizzy. We all love the 1st amendment, but we tend to want to silence those with whom we disagree. "I don't like him, get him off of the air!" Seems a little anti-American doesn't it? Seems anti-democratic to wish to silence people's views. Almost seems communist. And they do it, on the left and the right. What kind of message are we passing along to our children when rather than expose them to myriad viewpoints and then teach them right from wrong, we censor what we do not like and inculcate our children with our self-righteous idea of patriotism? Not a fortnight goes by when somebody isn't protesting to shut somebody up. People take to the streets, the papers, the airwaves to exercise their 1st amendment rights calling to take away those of someone else. Do they fail to see the irony?

Why not use something as a teachable moment, as a way of illustrating that free speech is a responsibility that goes hand in hand with free thought. Parents should use these opportunities to tell their children why they feel that what was said or broadcast is right or wrong. Instead they take the easy route and hermetically seal their child's ears from reality in the hopes that they can somehow handle it when mommy and daddy's earmuffs are out of earshot.

So the President of the "Greatest Democracy on Earth" wants to address America's schoolchildren, tell them to "stay in school" just like many presidents did before him. (The last president notwithstanding, it's interesting that this flap comes up after an 8 year absence of an intellectual leader -- "wait, this guy can read and speak coherantly? That's novel".) But the same cancerous forces that divided this nation under 8 years of neoconservatism continue to divide the nation today. The big boys fight over health care, label their opponents as "socialist." And the simple message to "stay in school" becomes a political lightning rod. Why encourage free thought? People who think freely might actually ask their leaders for better healthcare. Educated masses might actually hold their leaders accountable and not succumb to mindless propaganda. It was encouraging last November to see a man elected despite the color of his skin. Hope and change were in the air.

Still, roughly nine months later, our nascent change has a way to go....

Wilpons to Sell Mets

AP

NEW YORK -- Amid what can only be described as an abysmal season for the New York Mets, the Wilpon family has agreed to terms with Robert E. Rich Jr., chairman and president of Rich Products of Buffalo, NY. Mr. Rich is #242 in Forbes list of the 400 richest Americans with a net worth of $1.5 billion. Sources say that the terms of the deal are not finalized, but they do confirm that Rich plans to move New York's only National League team to Buffalo, NY. Buffalo has a rich tradition of national sports in both Football and Hockey, but have not had a Major League team since the late 19th century. Buffalo is the current home of the AAA Buffalo Bisons who, coincidentally, are the AAA affiliate of the Mets. While details are still murky, it has been reported that Rich will move the Mets franchise to Buffalo where they will play at Coca Cola field in the city's downtown business district. The brand new ballpark, Citifield will house the franchise AAA affiliate. The new team already has a new moniker, The Queens Queens. Insiders claim that the move should be relatively easy as there will be no need to move players. The current AAA Bisons will stay on with the Major League franchise in Buffalo while the current NY Mets will stay on to create the roster of the Queens Queens. Our insider states, "If it weren't for Major League rules, we could make this switch tomorrow. I know a seemstress who can make up new uniforms... other than that, the pieces are in place." Area sports fan and bar owner Marty Lewendowsky said, "Well, the Mets should fit in nice here. What with 'wide right' and 'no goal' and the Bills of late, we're used to soul-sapping choke artists."

Langston 2008

I think that this poem is very appropriate with the election so close. It's by one of my favorite poets ever, Langston Hughes.

I, too, sing America.

I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.

Tomorrow,
I'll be at the table
When company comes.
Nobody'll dare
Say to me,
"Eat in the kitchen,"
Then.

Besides,
They'll see how beautiful I am
And be ashamed--

I, too, am America.

That isn't to say that this election is about race, or that it should be about race. It absolutely shouldn't. It should be about 2 candidates and their policy. But the giant elephant in the room that is the US is race. And after 232 years since the Declaration of Independence it's refreshing that we finally have a person of color in position to lead the executive branch of our government. It's an absolute bonus that he outlines a clear and coherent policy of change that will affect us middle-class peeps.

But, again, two people vying for the chief executive position. One stands for policies that will move us forward. The other stands for more of the same politics as usual. I think it's time for a change. Here's hoping...

Jacob's Chatter

Sedentary walls
Wailing cells in my ears
Leaving laughing living long ago
and far away

I hide away
Ashamed to not reveal
in front of roaming masses
teaming insipid ignorance

Tears rock chambers
spasms of heaving rib
gasping for hope
without air to breathe
expiring inspiration

Bottom rung
intrepid angel
challenge to a duel
walk 20 paces and fly away
not turn and shoot

Come back!
Outstretch a hand to hand
Shake or leave it
But don't fly away....

This really has no meaning....

Yesterday opens before me like the Encyclopedia Britannica -
Voluminously heavy
And oh so outdated.

Somehow I feel I could read each entry if only they were listed alphabetically.
No, instead it is indexed by the color of mood.
(And what mixes between crimson rage and the blues?)

(She says this as she chews a leafy green.)

Forever would make a wonderful book would it not?
Perhaps as a memoir...
No
A true crime thriller.

I laugh and say that it should be a sacred text written in Canadian
But translatable for all to read.

But would the translation make sense?
Latin would surely be more sufficient for the Word Of God.

But the Good News comes in all languages:

Yesterday I received a promise of unmentionable fortune directly to my inbox in binary code.
Shortly thereafter Yahweh's Witness knocked on my door promising
AN INSPIRING MESSAGE FROM GOD.

And the message was in Tenacious Persuasion -- a dialect perfected by
Tent revivalists
and Madison avenue over centuries.

Centuries?!!? Surely you joke.
But I tell you the combined years of talent poured into the delivery of GOOD NEWS
Is staggering. Televised meteorologists are ancient soothsayers incarnate today.
But the true sages of the now are the disembodied voiceover artists on the infocommercials.
(Wasn't that the guy from that show? No, it just sounds like him.)

No - it was God
We are all the guy from that show.

Thus the lingua dei we will change from Canadian to A440 hertz.
Tune me to your favorite lullaby hymn.
Do you hear in HD?

We laugh in ALL CAPS and make it a point to text again.

Soon.

keepintouch
ttfn

see you around the circle of 5ths

Constellations

Together for good and for bad
We weather each others' storms.
I rain on your parade
And you march along umbrella in hand.

We all run into something -
A bump somewhere that seemed trivial
Turns into major damage down the line
Yet nobody leaves the scene.

On a darkened cold night
With a warm room in sight
You stay out in the elements
Urging him on, a body to lean on.

And even though yesterday she broke your heart
Today she saves your life.
Last week his forkethed tongue pierced your bubble,
But this midnight his words lead you out of the abyss.

We all hurt each other, this is known.
Stars of such magnitude don't always coexist so peacefully.
His black hole of misery
Her manic supernova...

But somewhere in the gravity of it all
Nebulous seeds germinate new illumination
In the torrential violence of our being
Gentle love permeates the haze.

And from broken fragments of explosions and implosions
We are each others' sunrise.

-KP